Poetry on the run.
...and so in the warmth of the ciggarettes glow..
the scotch shall dance while the ladies flow
the man from the land of sun and sand...
heard the piper's music so grand.
and suddenly the lochness monster looms from behind
a silent silhouette in the mist and fog..
dark and damp, it lives in the bog
unaware from where u stand on the cliff..
u feel the chills that make ur heart go stiff
u turn around...staring into the gloom...
what a fright mite..its the day of ur doom
while the seagulls continue to shriek in the strange silence
the mind battles the thought
for many a wars been fought
i suddenly know i wish for nought
but the silence to stop
but the silence to stop
PS: praise and brickbats shared by me and vasanth who made up these lines while chatting on windows messenger..yea that what we do!! : -)
9 Comments:
Well I am forced to comment as you have anonymous blogging on! haahah no one to comment huh#! Where is your picture hahaha........Are you in luv with green??????
7:55 AM
yep..suddenly find the color quite cool:-)
where's the poetry review?
8:27 AM
Okay, I'm no poetry aficionado, but I guess I'll be harsh today ;-)
Why the sudden change of setting between the first stanza and the second? Was the "man from land of sun and sand" airlifted from the party with flowin' ladies and thrown near loch ness? Some mystery!
And you switch to first person in the third stanza? Is that "mite" or "mate"? Many wars have been fought where? Why? What's that got to do with the context? Come on! Where's theme, my dear poets?
That being said, not a bad first attempt ;-) Hope to see more, so that I trash them heartily!
10:29 AM
Thanks Mr whatever :-)
4:23 PM
I am no poet to comment on your advanced gifted skills but I surely do appreciate the attempt. Just a vey general comment on your blog site and poems..
*Let the language be simple and let it flow.
*Great english teachers and poets have always kept it that way.
5:19 PM
Another thing get rid of usin Windows! Try UNIX flavours. They are as spicy as Indian cuisine and yucky and sweet as mug of Bournvita.:)hhaaaa!
6:38 PM
The official intranet messenger in my office here is Windows messenger...
And my friend vasanth is leaving for Scotland this week so we were talking abt the trip to be..thats where the first and second paragraphs come from.
the last two paras..well he's on his own trip always so will have to ask HIM abt those.
4:36 PM
you and your buddy are poets. cool.
9:13 PM
check you may like this
www.pandora.com
This is my community. Spread Pandora!
12:15 AM
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