Let me in.

Because of my inability to remain silent and keep my feelings to myself, i often misunderstand others who dont share their thoughts with me...i accuse them of being indifferent, cold and distant. Its not fair and i realize that.But not completely.

Just because i am a certain way doesn't mean that everyone else is similar.. maybe people have let me in as far as they can into their lives and beyond that would mean suffocating themselves.
I wonder if i make my friends feel that way..do they sometimes want me to back off?in my over enthusiasm of being really close friends and helping them out do i tend to overstep my boundaries. and then when they shut me out i blame them of being aloof. crazy huh!!

Its not easy for me to understand why people dont want to share their thoughts with those whom they consider dear.maybe its past experience that makes them distrust everyone in general...

whats the point of being a good friend when u dont really know what your friend is going through..when they laugh with you and u know they are not really all that happy inside.
and when u ask them,they look at you and smile through the tears hoping you won't notice them!Maybe all they need is someone to sit next to them and then they can handle the pain alone.

But somewhere its not enough for me. To be a silent bystander..

Latest addition.

Bought my third Calvin and Hobbes book this saturday..yippee!! had to buy it for my convocation which is to be held on the 25th Feb and where they giving me a prize for contribution to my department and college(hee hee, dont ask me what that means but it sounds awfully important). So the head of my department called up and asked me to buy a book for a certain amount which they would reimburse and which would be gifted to me at the ceremony.

Kept asking all and sundry as to what i should buy...and then it hit me.Simple.Another baby for my collection. Had promised myself a C&H every month but times have been hard(read i have been quite broke). And this was a perfect excuse(if u ever need one to buy C&H).

sigh...will read it only after the convocation. for now am quite happy to just stare at the cover and feel the weight of the three of them in my hands...