What it takes to be me.

Basically more than being named Aravinda. Or more correctly bearing the weight of being named V.Aravinda.Over the years, many have questioned, pondered and finally given up over my explanations for the V and my name in general. So when I have my own blog, it’s only logical that I make one last attempt at an explanation. For those who have already gone through this, please go ahead and take up your most boring subject book or call up that weirdo u have been trying to avoid for years. I promise that will be more interesting. And for those who are still reading, wondering where this is leading up to, I can assure, nowhere. Period.

So I was talking about my initials.V.A to be precise. Nothing weird there you say. Even I agree. Actually the confusion starts when people start asking me what my surname is. It is Iyer if u must know. Then why aren’t u called Aravinda Iyer, you ask?? Sigh.
The point is that my name just adds to this confusion. People cant make out which part is my name and which is not (honest! people have actually asked me if my name was V!!)Totally not the fault of an infant who couldn’t be bothered as to what tag this world associated with her as long she they changed her diapers and let her gurgle and spew saliva non stop.
People also ask me if I am somehow related to The Aurobindo ashram in Pondicherry. If I was I would have been named bindo or bindu or something. Guys!!!Puhleez!!!Then because I am a south Indian where its customary to add an ‘a’ to your name at the end, so that the name Arvind( a guys name typically) would become Aravind and probably Aravinda as well ,just adds to my woes.
Standard question:” Isn’t Aravinda a guys name?”
Standard answer: My parents weren’t too sure what they were getting so they chose a name that suited (or so they thought) whatever it would be.
But no, people still won’t be satisfied. They always have questions. They’ll get back to the V. where does it fit in all this mess anyways? Oh well, I started it in the first place, might as well finish it(optimistic ain’t I?). If you must know, it dates back to the tradition amongst us South Indians to prefix the first letter of our father’s name, to our name. So my dad’s name is Varadarajan (news, u can never use) and so I prefix a V to my name (which as you now know even if you dint want to) is Aravinda. Voila!! What I (and sadly even you) get is, V.Aravinda. Yippee! I did it. Bring on the champagne .No wait, there’s still something I don’t understand, you say. Damn you party poopers!! Now what, I say?? You obviously haven’t understood a word (did u happen to drink my champagne by any chance! waiter!!) When u ask me: So is your name V.Aravinda Iyer???Mercy on my soul and Champagne to the ghoul!!

Ok you morons! One last and very desperate try. When you use Iyer you don’t use the damn V and vice versa. So its either V.Aravinda or Aravinda Iyer.Clear enough? Now can we have the Champagne please, my mouth is tasting like sandpaper even though I can see that it has barely scraped the surface of whatever it is that u keep encased, inside that thing on your shoulders, you call a head. Ya bring it on you say. Lets celebrate!! That confounds me. Wait!! You really got it? I mean really? No more questions?? Of course you say, what’s in a name anyways. Bravo!! You guys are not so dumb after all, I see hope for the world.
Champagne finally here. Raise a toast? Be my guest. Cheers to V.Aravinda or Aravinda Iyer. Sounds ok till now. Phew!! So I am in the process of sitting down on the couch and taking a deep breath when this obviously drunk guy (drunk on my champagne??hey,how much are you guys guzzling!!!Waiter!!) walks upto me and says: “Mate, that was good!!(He pretends he’s talking about the sermon, but I know it’s the champagne) Just one little thingy that cropped up in my head. May I ask??”. What harm can a drunken guy and his obviously nonsensical question make, I tell myself.”Go Ahead”. So he says: “If you are Aravinda Iyer, or V.Aravinda, then why do you call yourself Aravinda Rajan?? “. I put my glass down. Life is cruel. I wish I had no name. I can understand now why everyone’s prayers are not answered. With so many names for him, God must be really at a loss.
Anyway s, party’s over. I get up. “Waiter, check please.” “Cash or card??”
“Card”, I say. He gets the cheque, and I hand my card over thinking how lucky pets were. They were always, Junior or Snoopy or Candy or something. No surnames. No initials. No point asking for god’s help. He must be busy figuring his own names out.
The waiter comes back. Now what!!!He looks a bit confused. “Madam, resembles you but it says on this card, Aravinda Varadarajan!!“ He obviously was hearing the sermon but not listening. I close my eyes. It's all my fault.They got the money right?? why do they care what the damn card says. Nosy waiters.I am feeling a tad murderous now. Did I hear someone say, “What’s in a name??”No point thinking, in what name the verdict or bail will be. Just no point.

PS: All characters and mentioned above (except the one who’s name however you pronounce it has letters similar to ‘A-R-A-V-I-N-D-A’ somewhere in it) are fictitious.All incidents involving champagne are fictitious too( i dont earn that much: atleast not now). Resemblance to any person living is intentional and highly sympathized with.