Pleasure in Pain

Its so easy to get disappointed. i set my expectations too high and then when things dont turn out that way i feel all is lost. i am unable to settle for anything less and get more and more miserable.

mostly its abt the decisions i make. i very rarely take a stand. but when i do i see ppl interfering with it, imposing their rules and trying to make me see from their perspective beacuse they feel its a better decision that has come after years of experience and wisdom gained.but they never realise that i feel stifled. that in their haste to do prevent me from making a wrong decision they are totally preventing me from being independent and trying things out on my own.

its me as well.i never tell them all this. i just blog about it or keep it to myself. because i dont wanna go against them.because i am scared. yea because i am weak.

i end up not going along with either their or my decision. that is i deny myself all of it. end up hurting myself because thats the way i saee myself getting back at them. spiting them by hurting myself.

its the worst possible thing to do and i know i cant stoop lower. somehow all this pain feels good. almost a sadist am i. Take pleasure in pain.feel relieved when my wounds bleed.takes my mind of other things.

A strip i created:-)

Ps:All Calvin and Hobbes images are copyright Andrews and McMeel, a Universal Press syndicate.

Feels like Heaven...

Oh - thinkin' about our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free

Now nothin' can take you away from me
We been down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Oh - once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down
Ya - nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way

N' baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

I've been waitin' for so long
For something to arrive
For love to come along

Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Ya - I'll be standin' there by you


-Lyrics from the song Heaven by Bryan Adams


Am sitting in office and having this desperate urge to listen to this song but can do nothing :-(
And if you are wondering why then it's because no music on our PC's allowed. Need to get that ipod real quick. Somebody gifting?:-)